When Push Comes to Shove A.K.A. What Do You Mean Spiral Sliced Ham Cake Doesn't Sound Good?

This Winter of our Discontent will forever be burned in my mind. Yes, like many people in the good old U.S. we are living a Depression era phase of life. I've been using brown sugar to sweeten my coffee for days in an effort to avoid charging groceries. I'm hoarding the eggs and home-brewed iced tea has taken the place of  juice in our refrigerator. I buy no cereal to prolong the life of the organic milk that I will not sacrifice (although I think it's time to resort to powdered milk for recipes. Gawd.)  We've gotten rid of our home phone landline and the heat is turned down to 63 at all times. I can't give my daughter the $5 admission to a high school basketball game. In searching for employment, I've learned that I'm both under and overqualified for every job in the world and that I'm in constant competition with at least 300 other applicants for even paltry $10 per hour positions. My negotiating skills have made a dramatic comeback as I successfully plead with the electric service and the gas service and water service.

Thankfully we're not starving, yet. Over the holidays we routinely receive gifts from our vendors (painting supply stores). Often it's fruit baskets and the like, this year our gifts consisted mostly of ham. FIVE of them to be exact. We aren't a big meat-eating family and normally I would re-gift them to our employees along with their Christmas bonus checks, but since a business has to have some business in order to have employees* this year Jefferson and I just shoved them all in the freezer for later consumption. Later came very quickly. We are so roke that we can't afford the B, but at least we've been able to eat. We've been subsisting on ham with biscuits, ham and eggs, ham quiche, ham casserole, ham frittata, ham sandwiches, ham and beans, ham souffle and ham and potato chowder for a solid month.

We keep saying things like "we're all going to have make some sacrifices" and "when the going gets tough..." and "at least we've got love," but the kids have been raised in relative comfort and have led pretty charmed lives so far; they're taking a little longer to acclimate to this sudden nose-dive in our economic welfare. Last night Bratface was craving something sweet to eat. We're out of chocolate and vanilla and I don't really know when I'll be able to grocery shop again. I'll bet by next week Little Miss Spoiled Rotten will not turn up her nose at her mother's offer to bake a Spiral Sliced Ham Flavored Cake. 

*We totally hated to do it but for the first time in five years had to lay-off all of our employees. At least they are all receiving unemployment compensation. We, on the other hand, as self-employed owners (and although we have no work or income coming in and have paid dearly in taxes over the years) do not qualify for even that.