Learning Curve

Scene: Mother (Me) is sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket with laptop on lap like every other non-65 degree day. 18 year old Tee enters house holding numerous ATM slips.

Tee: "Mom, I think something's wrong with my (three month old) bank account."

Mom: "Oh?"

Tee: "Look at these balances. I don't know what's going on. Yesterday my account balance said $134.20, but the day before it only said $100.15. Then today I get this one: $168.25. I don't get it. Are you putting money into my account for me?"

Mom:  "Dream, pal. Let's pull up your account online and see what's going on."

Scene: Mom and Tee peering at computer screen.

Mom: "Tee! Remember in Math how a little minus sign in front of a number means a negative?"

Tee: "Yeah."

Mom: on the verge of losing her shit "And you know that if you put in $129 and spend $127 the same day, you only have $2 left?"

Tee: "Yeah."

Mom: "Then what are all of these debits for $2.05?"

Tee: "Gatorade for lacrosse practice."

Mom: "Hon, remember our talk about the $300 overdraft protection? How the bank will honor the draft but will charge you $32 for each transaction all the way up to the $300 limit? And how you were going to never EVER rely on that money?"

Tee: " ------"

Mom: "You do realize that all of these Gatorades cost you $34.05 EACH?"

Tee: "But Mom, if the debit card doesn't get declined how am I supposed to know I am out of money?"

Mom: Falls forward bonking head on computer. Dies. The End.

Comments

[savia]

Wow. That is some damn expensive Gatorade. And it's not even that good!