Cripes, Whatever Happened To Living In Sin?

Have I mentioned my disdain for weddings?

Not only is my baby sister Keebo getting married in April and I am one of SEVEN bridesmaids {shudder}, Jefferson's sister is getting married in May in Italy (hello, that means that we will have to go to Italy) and four days after our return we will travel to Jersey, the bride's home state, to witness the marriage of two of our dearest friends and Jefferson's most famous partner in crime.

Did I mention that two of the betrothed are our sisters? The other being one of our closest friends? That means what? 

Weddings in April, May, June.
Ready set go,
March!

The festivities (and bullshit) shall now begin. The phone calls and emails from sisters, bridesmaids and mothers so excited about the plans, themed bridal showers (Around The World Bride - What the hell? Please. Explain.) out of state and over-night bachelor and bachelorette parties, travel accommodations this state, that state, another continent, menu planning, invitation choosing assistance, registries to check, cars to rent, money to gather falling from the trees (that's going to happen, right?) and dress fittings are really starting to interfere with my ruminations on figuring out WHAT I SHOULD WEAR IN ITALY.

I've never even been there but I'm pretty sure my usual daily attire (big silver hoops and red silk scarf over my ever-present brown/black/tan/green and jeans counts as dressing up in my world) just ain't gonna cut it. We're staying in a castle turned villa for 32. With a chef. For seven days. Cool, right? Now WHAT DO I WEAR?

Every weekend from the beginning of March we are booked with wedding crap for someone. The phone calls and emails are taking over our lives. Have these people never heard of cc'ing?

And I knew it. I just knew something was up when I suggested to Jefferson that we eat out tonight and he not only said yes, he seemed happy about it. <------- Sign. Note it. He always balks. We could be down to a packet of dressing from a salad bar and salt in the cupboards, have a 'copter on the helipad waiting to take us to an all-expense paid dinner and still he would balk. "It's Monday for godsakes!"  I don't get it either. He likes going out on weekends but for some reason it is absolutely taboo during the week.

Tonight, safely after I'd been handed my margarita in the Mexican restaurant, we started talking about all of the weddings and some of the drama-issues for each. We got onto the Major Problem of the Italy wedding. Seems that Relative Mr. X, who just got one of those "who'd have ever thunk it after 15 perfect years" divorces less than a year ago announced his upcoming nuptials to Mrs.Will Be Divorced On the Wednesday Before The Wedding, over Christmas. Unfortunately, this wedding would be right on or around the exact day that most of the extended family on Jefferson's mother's side would be leaving the country for Italy and J's sister's wedding. It would be difficult to attend both. Needless to say, conflicting family weddings is a bride's mother's worst nightmare.

I asked if he'd talked to his mom in the last couple of days. Jefferson said that the issue had been resolved. Woot!

"My mother sold us down river and used OUR departure as reason to talk them into changing the date to a week or so earlier. She explained to Aunt X (Mr. X's mother) that we would be devastated if we couldn't be a part of his wedding."

Gah.

Eight weeks, four weddings, three states, two countries and DAMMIT I ALREADY WORE MY BLACK SKIRT AND MY TWO GOOD DRESSES TO THE ENGAGEMENT PARTIES.

Comments

[sumgirl]

i don't even own a dress.
i, too, hate weddings. i even hated my own. at least your kids are too big to be the ring bearer or flower girl ... that makes the experience even more hellish.

[Kelliqua]

I bought those 2 and a new overcoat (which I have worn once this winter. Today it is 74 degrees!) on the clearance rack at Ann Taylor for exactly the same reason. Previously, my good black skirt has been the only "dress" I've owned in years.

[kimba]

Weddings are a pain in the ass. End of story.

But Italy? I LOVE Italy and you will, too - no matter what you wear. You'll be too busy eating the best food in the world, drinking the best wine and coffee you've ever had, and breathing the gorgeous Mediterranean air to give a shit. Trust me.