I Should Have Known This Would Happen

Furniture is here!
And there. And in the backyard. And everywhere.

Because when you get new furniture,

you are left with old furniture that you dispose of in a timely manner, and then you get to paint, and rearrange, and redecorate. Simple, heh? NOT!

We are feuding.

Problem #1
The comfy, but now well-worn swivel rocker has seen more states in the union than I have. It has traveled with Jefferson for 17 -odd years, living in dozens of houses, apartments and one trailer in West Virginia. It was understood that the nuptials involved him acquiring three children, and me, a chair. We call it his Archie Bunker chair. Jefferson "absolutely no way, you'll have to pry it from my cold dead fingers, end of discussion" will not part with this. I was game for 5 years, but enough is enough. I may have to accidentally, on purpose set fire to it, because it DOES NOT MATCH, or FIT in this room anymore, dammit.

Problem #2
The old $15, mint condition, at the time, burnt orange "Friends" couch is "completely fine. Who do we know that needs a couch? I am NOT filling the landfill with a perfectly useful piece of furniture." (Me: "It has been ripped by the puppy, has bare spots in the upholstery, and where the hell are we going to store it while waiting for someone to need it?)

Problem #3
The fucking fish.

Jefferson caught this record breaking bass when he was 15 years old! He has since turned into an environmentalist/naturalist, making us remove bugs from the house (quoting Tee "While kissing and loving them on the way to the door"), and fishes with hooks that he has meticulously filed the barb from (so as to not hurt the little buggers), obviously, never keeping the ones he catches. It's also kitschy and it doesn't MATCH, that's what I say. (G-O-N-E, gone.)

I won't even get into the antique basket weave rocker that was my great Grammy's, that might have some holes in the weaving, (60 years old! made by hand! my great-Grammy's!) and is sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, patiently awaiting its new place in the living room.

My progress on painting and redecorating is being heavily impeded, and I don't like it one bit!

Moving ahead by baby-steps, we have allowed Bratface to abscond the old couch for her bedroom. This of course, meant that all of yesterday was spent cleaning, rearranging and moving heavy furniture from her now newly redecorated room. So far, so good. Although I'm highly suspect that this couch will be completely covered with clothes, thus rendering it useless for seating/lounging, within in a matter of days, just like the chair it is replacing.

I think I have convinced Jefferson, even though I had to call in reinforcements to do so, that the Archie Bunker chair would look great in, and be of better service to him at the practice space. He seemed reluctant, but finally agreed. However, he was supposed to take it this evening. He is gone. It is not. Merely a coincidence? Hmm..

No formal resolution or commitment has been agreed upon about the fucking fish. All I know is that I AM  going to start painting within days, and I will be removing the fish to do that.  ...That's all I'm going to say at this time. *She says, with an evil laugh and a glint in her beady little eyes.

Also, we argued discussed future living room decorating policies (Honey, we have to move the bench out. It says 'folk art', the furniture says 'grown up'...), and furniture placement/removal options for so long yesterday that the dump was closed when we finished. My Redneck Backyard, that I thought couldn't get any worse, has been upgraded to a Redneck Lounge.

How 'bout that for an outdoor room, Southern Living?

 

Comments

[Allisone]

Beautiful green (Leather!)! That furniture will last forever, and look good while doing it.

Do you think he'll buy the story that a big hook on a string flew in the window and hooked the mounted fish, and yanked it away?

[sumgirl]

yea for red neck yards!
i remember hearing once that they were trying to outlaw indoor furniture outside in some towns ... ah, here ... (if only i could figure out how to make a cool link) ... http://www.ksdk.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=82920
(they would never get away with such a law in TN! heehee)

[Kelliqua]

More baby-stepping: the Archie Bunker chair has left the building!

But the Redneck Lounge is in full swing. Sadie, the dog thinks it's her chair, now.

Tomorrow. Or death to the husband.