Prattle Inc.: Just Fecking Splendid, Thank You

Still deprogramming from the cult of nicotine. Moving along fairly. I think I'm still kind of grouchy and touchy and snappy, but if you don't look at me or talk to me, you're gold. (Public Service Announcement: Do not quit smoking the week that you are PMSing.)

My approach has been to sleep off the withdrawal by inducing total exhaustion. Maniacal house-cleaning and general busy-ness ensued, and if it weren't for those other four people and two dogs who live here, this place would shine like the top of the Chrysler building. The front garden has grown in and is full, weeded, and composted. Vegetables are growing in the cleaner area of the redneck backyard we're transforming into a nice place where we can hang out - you know, where dog poop doesn't live. New flowers, some dirt and a couple of trees went in this week. I've cleaned 2 closets, under the stove, thank you, put the car in the shop, made appointments, re-organized the upstairs computer area, (the top landing of the stairs can't really be called a computer room, can it?), and cleaned out, and under the refrigerator*.

I'm also trying to eat small, healthy meals so I don't fall into that whole food-as-a-replacement thing.

Because it could so happen.

Why the hell doesn't Giant stock the sun-dried tomato and pesto flavor? Why the hell are they a dollar more a bag at the other store? What the hell am I doing, sitting in traffic for a bag of chips?

No kidding, I've consumed SIX bags, four flavors, one of which I specifically drove 7 miles out of town to purchase, of this crack-infused product, BY MYSELF. And I opened the bag of pesto chips in the car!

The shame.

******

We went to a thousand field hockey and lacrosse games last week. Bratface's field hockey team ranked #1 in their parks and rec division. Woot! She had semi-finals and finals all week and made it to the championship. More Woot! It was a heart stopping game, even for me. Tied score, went into 7/7 overtime, in which Brat was one of her team's 7, then the same 7/7 on double overtime {gasp}, then a shootout {!!!}...where they lost. She took it fine, simply requesting IHOP to soothe her spirit (read: hunger).

******

Last night the refrigerator* woke a few of us up in the middle of the night. We thought a helicopter landed on the house, the noise, so clanky and loud that it even brought a kid from upstairs, but it was just the freezer fan...screaming and whirring to its death. Jefferson turned the knobby thing off, then on - voila! it stopped. We all went back to bed. (You know you would have, too.)

So exactly, where the fuck does all of the water come from?

Can you somehow dry soaked coffee beans?

The repair guy can't come until tomorrow?

Grrr! Which cooler has the wine?

*If this connection makes you go "hmm" the way it makes me go "hmm", because you have to MOVE the refrigerator out to clean under it, DO NOT TELL JEFFERSON.

Coming Up Next:
Tee Goes To Prom With The Police Chief's Daughter